we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
