Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
