The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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