Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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