Non-Jews are for practice
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
