I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize