Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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