Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
