It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize