Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
