I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
