I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
