im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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