what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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