Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize