It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
