turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
