So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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