that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize