i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
being pregnant is like rehab
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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