Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
