Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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