you guys were way drunker than both of me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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