ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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