last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
