i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
