then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
