I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
