Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
