People in love make me want to vomit
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize