He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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