Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
