So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
