Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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