Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
