Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
