and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
