My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
