If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My balls are so social today.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize