How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sorry about my life...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
