Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
