Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
