Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
