you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
