this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
