Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize