Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
