I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
