I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
