i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
