Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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