Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
