So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
