Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
