we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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