Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
