I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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