At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
