I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
