I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We are all done wearing pants today
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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