so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
