I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
