I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
