I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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