You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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