Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
