never play flip cup with pint glasses
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
