Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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