Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
