that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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