Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
