Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
