So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
