I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
