she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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