fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
