is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
