Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
