I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
